HOLDING UP HALF THE SKY
Having gone yesterday to the cemetery with my husband to visit his
parents, which is a periodic activity to show respect for them (kavod ha-met)
and to bring comfort to us (nihum avelim), who miss them and one way to
remember them, I found myself in tears. Reflecting upon my
deep sadness for their loss (I did not know my husband's father, who died
when he was 60 and my husband was 19, way too young for a son to lose his
father, compared to our present standards of longevity. His mother was 96, a life well lived.
The tears were a projection of my own sense of vulnerability, fears and
ultimate demise and thought about who would be visiting me? How would I be
remembered? Yes, I know the cliché “you’ll always be in our hearts” although
there is something profound about touching the gravestone. A palpable & simple act of
kindness. We have three sons and presently six grandchildren. Would they
take time out of their busy lives to come out to Simi Valley where we have made
our pre need arrangements? As my father approaches 98 and I am 70, still
his baby and he is my anchor. I know what is eminent for him and trying
to leave no words unspoken, yet, my own fear of losing him in this life, only
brings my mortality more into focus. My mind then went to thinking about my
mother in law and then my mother and how they held the family together. Mothers are the machine that make
everything work in a family and seldom get recognized or appreciated because it's
"our job" often juggling that with having a career too. Well, I want
to recognize and acknowledge every mother in this world for who they are
and what they do, their devotion and commitment to family, and I include
myself, for this unforgiving, selfless, loving unconditionally role.
Yes, it might be our job but I want to take this moment to raise my glass to my
mothers (and fathers too) to recognize all that they did that went
unnoticed and unappreciated and to say I get it, you did the best you could do,
and with deep gratitude, thank you. Now, watching our grown children as they
parent our grandchildren, a smile appears as we witness the love and devotion
they pour into growing their families and kudos to the Moms who continue to
hold up half the sky!!!