HOLDING UP HALF THE SKY

Having gone yesterday to the cemetery with my husband to visit his parents, which is a periodic activity to show respect for them (kavod ha-met) and to bring comfort to us (nihum avelim), who miss them and one way to remember them, I found myself in tears.   Reflecting upon my deep sadness for their loss (I did not know my husband's father, who died when he was 60 and my husband was 19, way too young for a son to lose his father, compared to our present standards of longevity.  His mother was 96, a life well lived.  The tears were a projection of my own sense of vulnerability, fears and ultimate demise and thought about who would be visiting me? How would I be remembered? Yes, I know the cliché “you’ll always be in our hearts” although there is something profound about touching the gravestone.  A palpable & simple act of kindness. We have three sons and presently six grandchildren.  Would they take time out of their busy lives to come out to Simi Valley where we have made our pre need arrangements?  As my father approaches 98 and I am 70, still his baby and he is my anchor.  I know what is eminent for him and trying to leave no words unspoken, yet, my own fear of losing him in this life, only brings my mortality more into focus. My mind then went to thinking about my mother in law and then my mother and how they held the family together.  Mothers are the machine that make everything work in a family and seldom get recognized or appreciated because it's "our job" often juggling that with having a career too. Well, I want to recognize and acknowledge every mother in this world for who they are and what they do, their devotion and commitment to family, and I include myself, for this unforgiving, selfless, loving unconditionally role. Yes, it might be our job but I want to take this moment to raise my glass to my mothers (and fathers too) to recognize all that they did that went unnoticed and unappreciated and to say I get it, you did the best you could do, and with deep gratitude, thank you. Now, watching our grown children as they parent our grandchildren, a smile appears as we witness the love and devotion they pour into growing their families and kudos to the Moms who continue to hold up half the sky!!!